“Exceptional performance is a winning cocktail mixed with 25% of purely technical or hard skills, 25% of cognitive skills and 50% of all those competencies demonstrating emotional intelligence” . In this equation and according to Daniel Goldman’s work, EQ is proved to be twice as important as all the other elements.
This ‘emotional realm’ includes the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to recognise and control emotions and behaviours; establish and maintain positive relationships; make responsible decisions, and solve challenging situations.
Below are five simple steps to help foster and manage emotional skills.
- Identify feelings
Emotions can be described as a feeling . While there exist more types of emotions than words to describe them, there is a general agreement on some from which all other variations and nuances come from. Anger, sadness, fear, enjoyment, love, surprise, disgust, and shame appear to be the mother source for the whole universe of human feelings.
The first step to master social skills is to become always aware of the experienced emotions by identifying and labeling both, the concrete experienced feeling as well as the source from which this concrete feeling derives.
- Express feelings
Emotions are spontaneous, and automatic responses that need to be felt and expressed. Avoiding and repressing emotions can have negative psychological consequences. However, in the same way, incorrectly showing them can have negative consequences for ourselves and others.
When learning how to express our feelings in a positive and timely manner, it is helpful to remember that emotions are best mastered and controlled if understood as a multifaceted phenomenon consisting of the following components: behavioural reactions (e.g., approaching), expressive reactions (e.g., smiling), physiological reactions (e.g. heart pounding), and subjective feelings (e.g. feeling amused). When becoming aware of the whole emotional expression process, it becomes easier to understand how this process is manifesting on us and how to better manage it.
- Manage feelings
Being able to identify and express emotions is vital to successfully manage them. Managing emotions in a positive manner imply that our feelings are correctly identified and communicated in a way that helps to positively release the emotion; positively being understood by others around and positively set us up closer to the realisation of our goals.
- Delay gratification
Willpower is scientifically proven to be one of the keystone habits for personal emotional management and success. Like a muscle, such as the muscles in your arms or legs, it gets stronger through exercise. The better it is trained, the bigger the chances it gets to achieve higher goals. Consciously delaying gratification, in a world of constant, imminent and easily achievable pleasure is a great way to exercise this muscle. So when managing emotions and taking appropriate action requires to go against strong feelings, willpower is adequately trained and ready.
- Reduce and manage stress
In all this whole process, lessening stress and anxiety is an essential element. Improving emotions management, impulse control, and appropriate decision making requires the strengthening of willpower. As a muscle, the more it is exercised, the more it can handle. However if overused, it also loses capacity and efficiency. For optimal emotional management, the brain needs to be free to do the job effectively.
