I kicked off my career as a buyer for major retail chains, where I first learned how to negotiate effectively - skills I now teach to entrepreneurs, executives, and high growth organisations. In that role I discovered that “winning a negotiation” doesn’t mean defeating someone else - it means creating outcomes that set both parties up to succeed. Today, I help clients embed those same principles into their growth trajectories.
Negotiation isn’t an optional business skill - it’s a fact of business life. Whether you’re pushing for arriving at a delivery deadline, structuring a supplier contract, or negotiating a salary rise for a member of your team, your success depends heavily on how you communicate and influence. And yet most people still lean on zero‑sum, win‑lose maneuvers from a bygone era.
Here are seven counterintuitive negotiation strategies that move you away from positional battles and toward win-win solutions.
1. Design the negotiation process before entering the deal
Before hashing out terms, negotiate how you’ll negotiate. Agree on rules: who’s involved, the timeline, decision criteria, escalation paths, and checkpoints. Decide how you’ll track progress and adjust as needed. Don't allow your counterpart to define the process unilaterally, because process control is almost as powerful as content control. And it’s usually easier to tweak process agreements midstream than to unravel a flawed deal you’ve already committed to.
2. Ask “why” instead of arguing over “what”
Many negotiations stall because both sides dig into their demands - fighting over what they want - without probing the why behind those demands. If you dig into the other person’s underlying interests, you’ll often find unexpected alignment. A demand that appears rigid may actually mask a flexible need that can be met in alternative ways. Stop debating positions. Start exploring motivations.
3. Map constraints and preferences - for both sides
Don’t confuse your counterpart’s negotiating posture with their true constraints. Every party has boundaries—budget limits, policies, technical constraints, timing, resource constraints, and reputational concerns. Distinguishing what’s real versus rhetorical lets you direct your energy where it matters. Use your understanding of their constraints to craft offers that respect those limits while advancing your goals.
4. Normalise the emotional rollercoaster
Negotiation is emotional. Frustration, disappointment, ego clashes - they’re all par for the course. Don’t pretend that the process will be calm and convenient. Instead, acknowledge up front that tensions will rise. Get mutual buy‑in that conflict is expected. When both sides anticipate emotional pulls, moments of pressure become manageable inflection points - not deal killers. People are far more resilient if they know the storm is coming.
5. Treat ultimatums as mostly empty threats
When someone thunders “never!” or “under no circumstances,” don’t take it at face value. Such ultimatums are often a show of force - designed to freeze the other side. Respond calmly. Let them cool off. Most hardline demands evaporate with time and composure. Very few “deal breakers” are immutable. When you refuse to be shaken by threats, many of the “nevers” convert into possibilities.
6. Ask for everything—but offer multiple proposals
Don’t hold back - ask for what you truly want. But at the same time, present multiple alternative proposals. That does two key things: it shows flexibility (which builds goodwill) and it gives the counterpart the illusion of control. When they see options, they naturally gravitate toward what fits them. And you’ll more quickly see which parts of your asks are posturing versus which ones are real constraints.
7. Accept value in more forms than money
Finally: think expansively. Value doesn’t reside only in price. You can trade on payment terms, delivery timing, volume commitments, exclusivity, risk mitigation, service levels - even co‑marketing or future growth guarantees. When you open yourself to accepting non‑monetary forms of value, your creative space expands, and win‑win deals become far easier to craft.
Negotiation doesn’t have to be a battlefield. Used well, it becomes a vehicle for co‑creation and relationship building - especially in high-growth environments where agility, trust, and innovation count. Many of my clients who adopt these approaches discover deals that outperform their initial home runs - because they unlock new forms of value and collaboration